


Aphasia

by jediclarinetist



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender, Voltron: Lion Force (1984)
Genre: American Sign Language, Brain Damage, But In Space, Canon-Compliant until S6E4, F/M, Good Lotor (Voltron), Head Injury, Kinda, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Abuse, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:37:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jediclarinetist/pseuds/jediclarinetist
Summary: When Allura throws him across the room, Lotor suffers a severe head injury that results in aphasia—loss of language abilities—and makes Allura question her actions. Lotor seems stupid and is treated as such by the others, but he isn't—aphasia doesn't affect intelligence. He has an uphill battle ahead of him to maintain control over his weakening empire while he has trouble with even basic communication.





	1. Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> In quotes, italicized means that the person is signing. Italics and bold means they are both signing and speaking aloud.

It’s torture, reflected Allura, just  _ waiting _ . Keith was still gone, halfway across the universe. She sat next to  _ Acxa _ , of all people—a Galra, unrestrained, who hours earlier had been working with Haggar— _ I mean Honerva _ —and who betrayed Lotor, who betrayed Allura…   They say the enemy of my enemy is my friend, but Acxa and the other generals have been traitors so many times that they  _ can’t _ be trusted. Romelle stood behind her, glaring at the man who supposedly killed her entire family. And Lotor… he was in a healing pod. 

“He hasn’t woken up,” said Acxa conversationally, with a note of worry in her voice. “Since you… threw him.” She was trying to be diplomatic—with years of diplomatic training, Allura could tell—but Acxa was angry with her. “He’s been unconscious for almost four hours now.”

“He probably has some pretty severe brain damage,” conceded Pidge, adjusting her glasses. “With that long unconscious. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s a vegetable.”

 “He’s  _ not _ a vegetable, Pidge,” snapped Allura, a little more harshly than she meant to. “If he has—if he’s badly hurt…” She trailed off, thinking,  _ I’ll never forgive myself. _

“This isn’t your fault, Allura,” murmured Lance. “You did the right thing.”

“No, I didn’t,” replied Allura, burying her face in her hands. “I didn’t hear him out. I owed him that much… he’s been our ally for a long time. I could have heard what he had to say. I could have used  _ words _ rather than  _ violence _ ! It’s… not like me…”

Just then, the healing pod opened. Allura leapt to her feet and caught Lotor in her arms. The healing pod had diagnosed him with severe brain damage, and couldn’t do anything to help him. He was still cognitive, though— _ not _ a vegetable.  

“Allura,” he murmured, recognition sparking in his exotic eyes. 

“Lotor,” she whispered. All the hatred she had felt for him dissolved into pity. 

Romelle looked furious. Allura shook her head at the other Altean. 

If Lotor noticed the girl’s ire, he didn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he brushed a hand against Allura’s cheek. She pressed a kiss to it. His lavender skin was smooth, and instead of fingernails he had sheaths, little black claws hidden inside. A weak purr rumbled in his throat. His eyes were warm like they had been after the Quintessence field. 

“He doesn’t deserve to be taken care of,” hissed Romelle, unable to keep her anger to herself any longer. 

“Romelle’s right,” agreed Lance. “Mental whatever aside, he’s a villain. We should probably just kill him.”

“That’s far more merciful than he deserves,” argued Romelle. 

“Yeah, but we can’t, like,  _ torture _ him. He’s a  _ person _ ,” said Lance. “We shouldn’t  _ become  _ the Galra.”

“I’m not so sure, guys,” Hunk spoke up, looking worriedly between Romelle, Lance and Lotor. “On Earth, when someone with a mental illness commits a crime, they get treatment, not jail.”

“Would you suggest we treat Hitler’s mental illness?” replied Lance vehemently. “Genocidal maniacs like this guy don’t fall under the same rules.”

Allura saw a gleam of pain in Lotor’s eyes,  beneath the dark cloud of confusion that covered his beautiful face. “Stop,” she ordered. “Don’t be cruel.”

“Well, we definitely need to lock  _ her _ up,” Lance said, pointing at Acxa. 

Allura sighed and just looked at Acxa.

She shrugged. “Being locked up by you all would be safer than if you let me go. Plus, believe me—you _ don’t _ want Haggar to have all three ships.”

“I have no doubt of that,” agreed Allura. “But you showed good will toward Lotor just by bringing him here… I don’t want to leave you alone in the basement. It doesn’t seem right.”

“Restrain my ankles,” she suggested. 

Allura looked around. Seeing mostly nods, she nodded. “Coran, can you do that?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“Come on,” she murmured to Lotor. “Are you tired?”

“I—” he mumbled, “I slept…” He looked as though he was trying to remember a word. 

“Yes,” replied Allura softly. “You were down for a while.” She brought him into the lounge and sat him down on the couch. She sat down next to him. “How are you feeling?”

“F—hmm.” He looked annoyed with himself. 

Pidge and Hunk followed them. Pidge was carrying a readout from the medbay. She handed it to Allura. “His language center was hit pretty hard,” Pidge told her. “He probably doesn’t understand whatever it is you’re trying to say to him.”

An idea flashed in Hunk’s eyes. “We could teach him sign language,” he suggested. “That uses a different part of the brain than a first language.”

“That sounds… like a good idea,” said Allura. “There’s an Altean sign language, but would more of you know a different one?”

Hunk shrugged. “I know American Sign Language—ASL. Dunno who else does.”

“Keith and Shiro,” replied Pidge. “They’re both pretty good with it. Keith’s better.”

“Do you know Altean sign language?” Hunk asked her.

“I did,” she answered. “But it’s been a while. Let’s learn your—what was it? ASL?”

Hunk began teaching them the sign language alphabet. It was easier than Allura suspected teaching a deaf person would be, since Lotor could hear them.

“ **_Hi, I’m H-U-N-K_ ** _. Hunk,”  _ signed Hunk, also speaking aloud. His sign name, as he explained it, was the sign for ‘H’ and ‘cook’. 

“ _ Hunk, _ ”  replied Lotor in signs, repeating his name sign. “ _ Hi, Hunk _ .” The sign for hello, which Lotor had picked up on despite Hunk not explaining it, was a simple salute.

“ **_This is P-I-D-G-E_ ** _. Pidge _ ,” signed Hunk. Pidge’s name sign was the sign for ‘P’ and then lowering the hand.

“ _ Hi Pidge, _ ” signed Lotor in response. He looked at Allura.

“ **_Hi Pidg_ ** _ e,” _ repeated Allura. 

“ **_This is A-L-L-U-R-A_ ** ,” signed Hunk, gesturing at Allura. “ _ Allura _ .” Her name sign was formed by sweeping the hand over the face and ending in the sign for ‘A’. 

“ **_Hi, I am Allura_ ** _. A-L-L-U-R-A _ ,” signed Allura.

“ _ Hi, Allura _ ,” signed Lotor.

“What does my name sign mean?” asked Allura to Hunk.

“It’s the sign for ‘pretty’ and the sign for ‘A’,” answered Hunk. 

“Aww,” said Allura. 

“What does mine mean?” asked Pidge.

“It’s ‘short’ and ‘P’.”

Pidge hit Hunk. “Not cool.”

“ **_This is L-O-T-O-R_ ** _ , _ ” signed Hunk. “ _ Lotor _ .” Lotor’s name sign was formed by making an ‘L’ and sweeping like a sash across the chest. “It means prince.”

“ _ Hi, I’m Lotor. L-O-T-O-R _ ,” signed Lotor. 

“ **_Hi, Lotor_ ** ,” signed Allura.

“ **_Hi, Lotor_ ** _ , _ ” signed Pidge. “ **_I’m P-I-D-G-E._ ** _ Pidge.  _ You know that Lotor isn’t a prince anymore, right?” Pidge said, raising an eyebrow at Hunk.

“I don’t know the sign for emperor,” Hunk conceded. 

“It is… fine,” replied Lotor. 

Suddenly, the alarms started blaring. It looked as though Haggar had gotten to them first. Hardly surprising, considering that Keith didn’t have a teledav. 

“Stay,” Allura told Lotor. “Please.”

“I will.” He smiled at her. 

  
  


It felt like hours until the Princess and the paladins returned. The one in red armor—Lotor couldn’t recall his name—was there, too. They looked worried and exhausted. 

“He’ll be alright, Keith,” Allura said. It took a moment for Lotor to connect the name to the face.

“I hope so,” he replied tersely. He looked at Lotor. “What’s the situation? Why is he not restrained?”

“That’s what  _ I _ said!” exclaimed Romelle. 

“When Allura yeeted him across the room, he hit his head pretty hard. His brain doesn’t really… work anymore,” Pidge said to Keith. 

Indignation flooded through him. He  _ knew _ what she’d said about him, and he hated… how he couldn’t  _ respond _ . “It… works,” he growled. His eloquence was what gave him his power, and it was  _ gone _ . There was nothing he could say to convince them that he was still  _ Lotor _ . That he still had the use of his intelligence, his willpower, his  _ sanity _ . 

Allura walked over to him. She was so beautiful. 

“ **_Allura_ ** ,” he signed. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to it.

“ **_Lotor_ ** ,” she signed back. “How are you?”

“I—” He let out a self-loathing snarl as he couldn’t find the words to answer such a simple question. 

“It’s alright,” she replied, a note of fear in her voice. “Don’t be angry.”

“I’m… not angry… with you.”

Understanding melted over her features. “It’s not your fault.”

He shook his head. It felt like his fault. “ _ Hunk _ ,” he signed. “Help.”

“Oh, right,” he said. “Keith, we’re teaching Lotor ASL so he can communicate with us. Do you want to help?”

Keith sighed. “Sure,” he replied. “ **_I’m K-E-I-T-H._ ** _ Keith, _ ” he signed. His name was a ‘K’ and then a flipping gesture over his shoulder. 

“Your sign name means Mullet?” exclaimed Hunk. 

Lotor began to laugh. It was even more hilarious than the small one being called ‘short’. Keith’s hair  _ was _ stupid.

Keith made what looked like a rude gesture to Hunk, then replied, “ **_What’s your name?_ ** ”

Lotor repeated the gesture, then raised an eyebrow quizzically at Keith.  _ Is this right? _

“ **_Yeah, that means what’s your name._ ** ” Keith signed and spoke. 

“ _ I’m L-O-T-O-R, _ ” replied Lotor, just signing. “ _ Lotor _ .”

“ **_Hi, Lotor_ ** ,” replied Keith. “ **_It’s nice to meet you properly_ ** .”

Lotor cocked an eyebrow. It was too many new signs at once for him to know which words went where. “S—hmm.” He couldn’t find the word to make Keith sign less quickly.

“Slower?” guessed Allura gently. Lotor nodded.

Keith repeated the signs one by one, so that Lotor could learn the words. 

“ _ It’s nice to meet you properly _ ,” signed Lotor at Keith. “ _ Keith _ .” Lotor looked at Acxa. “ _ Hi _ ,” he signed. 

She sat down across from him. “Are you OK?”

He nodded. 

“You already learned some Galra sign language with Narti,” she said. “Do you remember?”

He nodded. “ _ A little _ ,” he signed. “ _ Acxa. _ ” Her name sign was probably incomprehensible to the others, since it was in GSL instead of ASL. 

Keith cocked an eyebrow. “Can we give her a new sign name?” he requested.

“Sure,” replied Acxa.

“ **_This is A-C-X-A_ ** ,” signed Keith. He appeared to think for a bit. “ _ Acxa _ .” It was an ‘A’ hitting the middle of the left forearm. “ **_It means axe_ ** .”

“ **_A-C-X-A_ ** ,” she replied. “ _ Acxa. _ ”

Keith taught her the sign for ‘I am’ quickly. 

“ _ Hi, Acxa _ ,” signed Lotor. He smiled at her. “ _ I am L-O-T-O-R. Lotor _ .”

“ _ Hello, Blood Emperor Lotor _ ,” she replied. Obviously, the sign for ‘blood emperor’ was the Galra sign for it.

Keith and Hunk continued teaching them for some time. But they’d had a battle today, and they were beginning to look tired. 

“ _ Sleep _ ,” Lotor signed. “ _ I sleep also _ .”

Hunk nodded. “That sounds great.  **_Good night, everyone_ ** .”

Everyone said their good nights, and Lotor retired. It wasn’t difficult to get to sleep. His thoughts were no longer made up of words, and they were less distracting than normal. A blessing and a curse, this injury. 


	2. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor finds himself all the more frustrated by his inability to communicate. He wants to explain to everyone what really happened at the colony, but he can't find the words to do so.

Lotor awoke with limbs cloaked in sweat, a racing heart and Allura’s name upon his lips. He sighed after a moment of wistfulness and sat up, hitting his head on the upper bunk. “Ow! Quiznak!”

The door burst open as soon as he cried out. The very same princess that had danced in his dreams not ten dobashes prior stood in the doorway. “Lotor, are you alright?” she exclaimed. 

“ **_Allura_ ** ,” he replied with one hand, rubbing his temple with the other. “ _ I’m OK _ .  _ Hit head _ .” He pointed at the upper bunk. “ _ Too short _ .”

Allura looked a bit confused. “I’m… not sure what you’re trying to tell me,” she admitted. “Come on, let’s eat.”

“ _ You remember _ ?” he signed. She was turned away from him, leading him to where they would eat, so she didn’t respond. “Allura,” he whined. 

She turned around. “What’s up?”

“ _ You not remember _ ?” he repeated. “ _ A-S-L _ ?”

“ **_I’m sorry_ ** , it’s too early,” she sighed. 

Lotor followed her silently to the kitchen. “ _ Good… day _ ,” he signed to everyone. He was unsure what an early day was called, let alone what the sign was for it.

Romelle made a rude gesture at him. “Go away.”

Lotor cocked his head. “ _ I don’t understand. Why do you hate me? _ ” 

Keith translated his words. For some reason, Lotor had trouble connecting the words Keith was voicing to the words Lotor was signing. 

Romelle stood up. “You killed my entire family! How in the universe could I NOT hate you?!”

Lotor winced. “No,” he protested. 

“No? What does that even mean?” said Lance.

“Lotor, what are you trying to say? Are you denying Romelle’s accusation?”

“Explain yourself!”

“ _ Stop, _ ” requested Lotor weakly. 

“ **_Guys, stop, you’re overwhelming him_ ** !” yelled Keith. “ **_Let him speak_ ** .”

“I—” Lotor began. “I didn’t— _ No words _ ,” he signed. He was trying to deny her accusation, but couldn’t find any of the words necessary to do so. 

Keith just sighed. “ **_Drop it, guys. K-O-L-I-V-A-N is coming today_ ** . _ Kolivan, _ ” he signed, forming Kolivan’s name sign by resting a ‘K’ sign on a closed fist and then bringing his hands wide apart. 

 “ _ I hide? _ ” asked Lotor. He used the Galra sign for hide, so most of the others looked confused. 

“No,” said Acxa. “Don’t hide. You’re the Blood Emperor of the Galra.”

Keith nodded grimly. “Kolivan knows you’re here. Hiding would only make it worse.”

“ _ Can’t show… sick _ ,” signed Lotor. He really meant ‘weakness’ but wasn’t able to form the word in any language.

“I trust Kolivan,” argued Keith. “Krolia?”

She nodded. “He should know about this.”

Lotor shook his head. “ _ Not good idea. _ ” Maybe it was his years upon years with the Galra, but Lotor knew that an Emperor who showed weakness to his subjects was a dead one. “ _ G-A-L-R-A.  _ **_Victory or death_ ** .”

“Have you met Kolivan?” asked Allura.

Lotor shook his head. 

“So he doesn’t have to know that this is a new thing,” suggested Pidge. “If Keith translates Lotor’s words more… fluently than Lotor can sign, then he shouldn’t know the difference.”

“ _ Could work _ ,” signed Lotor.

“Or he could do Galra hand signs,” suggested Acxa.

Keith snorted. “He’s been doing a mix this whole time.”

“Yes,” said Allura. “Which means none of us can understand him.”

“But Lotor is well-known. If he hadn’t been able to communicate before, the Blade would have known,” Krolia protested. “A couple of our members have heard him speak in person.”

Lotor looked to Allura. “ _ Allura, do you love him? _ ” What he meant was ‘trust’, but he didn’t know the word. 

Acxa translated his words at Allura’s confused expression. But the translation seemed only to confuse her further:

“What does that mean?  _ I don’t understand _ .”

“ _ Do you believe in Kolivan _ ?” Lotor clarified. When Keith translated, Allura shrugged.

“He’s been a steadfast ally. But I… I don’t know that I trust him personally. Does that make sense?”

“You’d trust him with your cause but not with yourself?” Lance amended. 

“Something like that,” replied Allura. “If Kolivan thought it for the greater good, I think he’d sacrifice me. I don’t know that I’m comfortable with someone else making that decision for me.”

Lotor set his jaw. “ _ Then I don’t believe in him. If it seems good ending me I don’t agree _ .”

“Then I cannot trust him,” Keith translated. “Even if Kolivan believes killing me to be for the greater good, I will not put my life in his hands.  **_So it’s settled, then. We don’t tell him what’s really going on_ ** ?”

“...Agreed,” replied Krolia reluctantly. Lotor had no doubt that the Galra would betray him if given the chance; he’d have to be cautious. Krolia will likely reveal the truth to Kolivan, without the paladins’ permission if necessary. 

“ _ Paladins _ ,” signed Lotor. He used the sign for ‘P’ with the hand motion of ‘compassion’. “ _ I know you don’t love me. But I need you helping. Can I believe in you _ ?”

Hunk and Keith nodded solemnly, and then Keith repeated his words. “Compassionate ones, I know you don’t trust me, but I require your assistance. Can I believe in you?”

“Yes, you can,” replied Allura.

“...Yeah, I’ve got your back,” muttered Lance.

“ _ Thank you _ ,” signed Lotor. 

Coran came into the room. “He’s here,” he said. 

They met Kolivan on the bridge. “ _ Hello, Kolivan, _ ” greeted Lotor. “ _ I hear things of you. Good to meet you properly _ .”

“Greetings, Kolivan,” translated Acxa. “I’ve heard many things about you. It is good to properly meet you.”

“Emperor Lotor,” greeted Kolivan, taking a slight bow. “The pleasure is mine.”

“ _ Are you here for me _ ?” asked Lotor. Acxa faithfully translated.

“Partially. Krolia, Keith, I was informed that you found the source of the pure Quintessence?”

“Yes,” replied Keith. “It came from a facility in a space-time fold created by Lotor. He harvested the Quintessence of Alteans.”

Kolivan looked to Lotor with a predatory gleam. “Explain.”

“ _ They—I found the remaining Allura people after A-L-T-E-A died. I put them in a place. They help me save everything _ .” Acxa furrowed her brow, trying to convey what Lotor meant in better words. But she didn’t have background knowledge of the colony, so it must have been confusing for her. 

“I found the remaining Altean people after Altea was destroyed,” said Acxa, looking at Lotor curiously. “I put them somewhere safe, where they could help me save the universe.”

“He killed my entire family!” exclaimed Romelle. “He’s a monster!”

“No,” protested Lotor. “I— _ I’m not bad. _ ”

“He says he’s not bad,” said Keith tiredly. Acxa shot a glare at the black paladin. 

“So he drained the life force from Alteans?” said Kolivan. “Is that true, Lotor?”

“ _ Yes. But there is more story _ .” Acxa said, “Yes, it’s true. But there’s more to the story than they’re saying.”

“Can he write it out?” requested Kolivan. “Can we have both sides of the story written out?”

“Sure,” replied Allura. “Coran, can you get them writing supplies?”

Lotor furrowed his brow. He wasn’t entirely sure he  _ could _ write. Not anymore. He hadn’t even tried  _ reading _ yet, let alone writing.

“ _ Are you going to be OK _ ?” signed Hunk to Lotor. 

“ _ I don’t know _ ,” he replied. 

The pad was placed in front of him, and Lotor tried to write his story, but was unable to make words with his pen. Instead, he ended up drawing himself speaking to the colony in front of the statue of himself. There were smiles on the people’s faces—there always were. The Alteans loved him. The drawing was impressive in its form and its detail, but it didn’t have words. Lotor couldn’t find them.

The two pads were put side by side in front of Kolivan. Romelle looked around him curiously at Lotor’s drawing. “But… these are just pictures. Where are the words?” asked Kolivan, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Lotor didn’t even know how to begin to respond to that. He just shook his head. “ _ No words _ ,” he signed to Keith helplessly. His language center was so fucked up that even hand-speak wouldn’t come to him, let alone spoken words. It was so frustrating. And Lotor hated himself so much in that moment—not for what Romelle was accusing him, of which he wasn’t guilty, but for how… incapable he was. It was so much worse than being physically debilitated would be. The paladins were giving him a chance to explain, and he couldn’t, and that was what fueled his self-directed rage. 

  
  


Allura watched Lotor worriedly. He looked furious, but she could tell this time that it was inwardly directed. She went over to him and knelt in front of him. “ _ Lotor, be calm _ ,” she told him.  

“ _ I don’t know _ ,” he replied. She tilted her head at him, confused. 

“What if you read Romelle’s version?” Pidge suggested. She handed it to Allura, who handed it to Lotor. Tears blurred Romelle’s writing in some spots. 

Lotor blinked at it a few times, then shook his head. “ _ I don’t understand _ ,” he signed. 

“ _ You can’t read _ ?” Hunk clarified. 

Lotor looked like he wanted to respond—his hands were in the air—but they were unmoving. He let out a feral snarl instead, dropping his hands to his lap. The claws of his right hand dug into the back of his other hand, and his eyes, dropped to his lap as well, were filled with fury. He squeezed them shut. 

“What’s going on?” whispered Kolivan to Krolia.

“His brain was badly damaged. He can’t communicate.”

“That’s not good,” muttered Kolivan. “We need him as the Emperor—without him, there will doubtlessly be a power vacuum. Regardless of what he did or didn’t do with the Alteans, he is necessary to keep peace in the universe. Even if he’s only a figurehead.”

Allura heard Lotor sigh. She moved to sit next to him and unlatched his claws from his skin, taking the undamaged hand within her own. Beads of scarlet welled up from where he’d scratched himself. “It’ll be alright, kitten,” she murmured. As she realized what she had said, she blushed fiercely. 

Lotor opened an eye and peered at her. His eyebrow was cocked, and he wore a smirk on his face. “Kitten?” he purred. His ears twitched. 

Allura giggled. He looked so much like a bemused cat. She booped him on the snoot— _ nose _ —just to see how he’d react. 

He blinked. His expression went from contented to mock offense. “Allura,” he grumbled.

“Lotor,” she giggled. 

He flashed his fangs at her—she thought in amusement—and she saw him swipe his tongue over the pointy whites, just a little. That small motion sent a jerk to her abdomen, as she felt the space between her legs grow hot. As she noticed that, she blushed ever darker.  _ He’s still a murderer _ , she reminded herself. But such thoughts didn’t seem to have sway over her body’s reaction. She tried to shake it off, knowing all too well the power of the Galra nose. When Lotor winked conspiratorially at her, it was all a bit too much, and she quickly excused herself from the room.


	3. Flashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor starts saying weird things and then forgetting what happened. Allura has mixed feelings.

Lotor watched Allura as she left, smirking. Gods, he could  _ smell _ her as she walked past him. It took all of his self-control to keep from following her—or worse, grabbing her and taking her right there, which is what he  _ really _ wanted to do. 

Lotor’s vision faded for a moment as he saw a flash of long golden hair, beautiful blue eyes, and the feeling of being slapped—hard. He blinked and saw that he was still in the living room. He rubbed his jaw absentmindedly. It still hurt, despite the vision not having actually happened. 

“ **_Are you OK_ ** ?” asked Keith, looking worriedly at him. 

Lotor didn’t really understand why Keith was waving his hands at him, nor, it occurred to him, why Keith cared whether or not he was alright. “Historically speaking, I’ve been worse,” he drawled. “I wouldn’t worry so much about me; you should watch your own back. You have to know by now that Allura is mine.”

The entire room turned to look at him. “He’s been lying this entire time!” gasped Romelle. “He’s not even hurt!”

A cacophony of accusatory voices surrounded Lotor, and he found himself unable to understand them, let alone respond, as he faded into unconsciousness. 

He woke up with Hunk and Keith. He was in a room with a medical pod near him. “What…” he murmured. He wasn’t sure how to finish his question. 

“ **_How do you feel? You’re not hurt_ ** ,” signed Keith.

"I—” Lotor broke off, unable to form any words. “ _ I’m OK _ ,” he signed. 

Keith sighed. “What happened back there?”

Lotor tilted his head. “ _ I don’t know _ ,” he replied. “ _ Don’t remember. _ ”

Hunk handed Lotor something warm that smelled delicious. “What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked.

“ _ Kolivan wanted keep me Blood Emperor _ ,” he replied. 

“You don’t remember what happened with Allura?” asked Keith. “Or how you made a miraculous recovery to say something mind-bogglingly stupid?”

“Keith,” admonished Hunk.

Lotor shook his head. He got a bit dizzy from the motion, but quickly recovered. He took a bite of the thing Hunk had given him. It was, as expected, delicious. 

Keith scratched his head. “This is… a weird situation. Some of the others think you were faking injury all this time so we wouldn’t do anything to you.”

“ _ And what think you _ ?” signed Lotor with a snickerdoodle cookie in one hand.

“I think that if you were trying to deceive us, you would be better at it. So the question is, what happened to make you remember how to talk for a moment?”

“ _ I don’t know _ .”

“That was a rhetorical question,” said Keith, with thinly veiled exhaustion. 

Lotor gently brushed the dark bag under Keith’s eye with his free hand. “ _ You are tired _ ,” he signed. “ _ Why _ ?”

Keith just gestured with his head at the medical pod. Lotor glanced into it and saw the other black paladin. Lotor couldn’t remember his name. “Sh…?” he whispered.

“ **_It’s S-H-I-R-O_ ** ,” signed Keith. “ _ Shiro _ .” He made an ‘S’ and made a motion around his eye. 

“ _ Why Shiro in here _ ?” 

“Because he was Haggar’s clone. Allura put his soul back. We’re still waiting for Shiro’s body to accept it, though.”

“ _ H-O-N-E-R-V-A you mean, _ ” signed Lotor sadly. “ _ Honerva _ .” He made the sign by doing the sign for ‘mother’ with the sign for ‘H’. 

“God, Lotor…” sighed Keith. “I’m sorry. That must be rough.”

“Haggar is your mom?” asked Hunk.

“ **_Honerva_ ** ,” Lotor replied bitterly. “ _ And yes _ .  _ Where is Allura _ ?”

Keith shrugged. “I haven’t seen her since she left, before you passed out.”

“ _ How long I sleep _ ?” 

“Half an hour,” replied Keith. At Lotor’s confused expression, he added, “About thirty dobashes.”

Lotor stood up. He felt a little shaky as he did so, however. “ _ I find Allura _ ,” he told them. He walked through the door, making it clear that the Blood Emperor of the Galra would not ask for permission. He almost collided with the very woman he was looking for. 

“Lotor!” she exclaimed. “I heard what happened. Are you—”

“Shh,” he purred. “ _ Yes, I’m OK. _ ”

“ _ Good _ ,” she replied. “ _ How’s your…  _ loquacity?” she giggled as she spoke aloud. 

“ _ Not sure it happen _ ,” replied Lotor. “ _ Don’t remember _ .”

She tilted her head in a very cute way. “ _ You don’t remember _ ?”

Lotor shook his head. “ _ Never happen _ ,” he replied, his lips curling into a smirk. 

Allura bit her lip subconsciously, or so Lotor assumed, as she saw Lotor’s fangs again. The heat between his legs reminded him of days past—no, not  _ his _ days.

_ Lotor was surrounded by women in chainmail bikinis, and none of them were Allura. But they were all pale skinned and golden haired humans.  _ Human? Allura wasn’t human… Lotor blinked a few times and his vision cleared. The woman he loved was standing before him, all too close, and he wasn’t even touching her. Why was he not touching her?

“You know that you’re going to marry me, right, my Princess Allura?” he purred, his voice husky with desire. He brushed her cheek with a gentle hand.

“Pardon?” she said, her cheeks flaming. 

“Haven’t you accepted your handsome Drule prince yet, my dear? You know that I’ll always be yours… for the taking…” His vision faded slowly as his sentence trailed off, and he collapsed into Allura’s arms.  

 

Allura didn’t know what to do with the very large, very handsome half-Galra emperor in her arms. He was heavier than he’d seemed when she’d thrown him— _ Allura, don’t think about it _ —and he seemed completely limp as she lowered him to the ground. She felt his forehead. His temperature was hot but quickly began to cool as he lay there peacefully. She sat down on the floor and pulled him half into her lap, stroking his soft white hair.  _ Why in the universe would Lotor call himself a Drool Prince? Does he drool? Does he think that makes him appealing?? _

Her questions faded as Lotor blinked his eyes open. “Allura,” he said.

“Lotor,” she replied cautiously. 

“ _ What happen _ ?” he signed weakly. 

“You called yourself a Drool Prince and then passed out,” she informed him.

Lotor chuckled. “ _ Rude of me _ ,” he signed. “ _ Why _ ?”

“Your guess is as good as mine,” she replied, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“ _ I don’t remember, _ ” he said. “ _ You know better _ .”

“I think you also might have… ahm. Proposed marriage to me.”

“ _ Don’t remember. Did not happen. _ ” In contrast to his words, he was smirking. “ _ You say yes _ ?”

“I didn’t have time to respond, really,” she stalled, her mind racing. She really, really hoped he didn’t press the issue. She was very much not willing to marry him at the moment.  _ Fuck him, maybe _ . Allura chided herself for the wayward thought, her cheeks burning. 

“ _ Shame _ .” He smiled up at her with his soft eyes, and Allura thought her heart would melt. “ _ I would like hearing you responding _ .”

Allura sighed. “Not today,” she murmured, mostly to herself. “You should go lie down.”

“ _ Not sure I… can do alone _ ,” he signed, flailing a bit to express the meaning he intended.

“I’ll help you,” she agreed, helping him to his feet, and then bringing him to his room. She pulled the blankets over him. “Sleep, Lotor. Feel better.”

He whimpered a little as she stepped away from him, and her heart broke a little as she ignored his weak protests and left him there to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating how smutty I want this fic to be. Tell me what you think, please!


	4. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins speculate on why Lotor is acting so strangely. Lotor hallucinates even more.

Allura went back into the lounge to find most of her teammates sitting there. Keith was absent, likely with the unconscious Shiro. 

“How’s Lotor?” asked Hunk. It was sweet, reflected Allura, how kind Hunk was to Lotor despite his evil deeds. Perhaps someone Hunk knew had suffered a similar brain injury. 

“He is acting oddly,” replied Allura. “He spoke fluently for a moment, but what he said was very out of character. Moreover, he passed out immediately afterwards. When he woke up, after maybe a dobash, he said that he didn’t remember what happened.”

“It happened again?” Hunk whined, his brows knit together. 

“Yes,” confirmed Allura. “It’s quite worrying.”

“It certainly is,” agreed Kolivan. “Lotor needs to be seen as a strong leader of the empire, whether or not he’s actually able to fill that role. What do you all suggest?”

“We could take apart some of his words we’ve recorded,” suggested Pidge, “and make a new rousing speech for him. We could even have him write it—well, dictate it to us, anyway.”

“That might just work,” said Allura. “We’ll talk to him about it once he wakes up…”  _ If he can manage to keep his head _ . “We should probably… attempt to find out what triggers these responses he’s having.”

“What do the events have in common? What did he say to you, Allura?”  
Allura was, to say the least, somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of telling the paladins what Lotor had professed to her. “I don’t know… something about being my handsome Drool Prince. Something about marrying me?”

Lance frowned. “Well, the first time he also claimed you or whatever. Maybe it has to do with Allura.”

Allura blushed. “I… I don’t know,” she admitted. “But it is not like he has done this every time I’ve interacted with him. There must be something else.”

“Do you desire each other?” rumbled Kolivan. 

Heat rushed to Allura’s cheeks as she realized that the noise Kolivan was making was one of amusement. He was  _ laughing _ at her. “What are you implying?” she demanded.

Kolivan inclined his head. “No affront intended, Princess. I am simply saying that there are certain things that remain unharmed when someone’s brain is injured—as the musician who can sing, but not speak. I am wondering if that might be the case for the Emperor’s sexual attraction.”

“I… I wouldn’t know,” stammered Allura, her face growing ever redder. 

“Is sex something that dominated much of his focus?” he asked, turning to Acxa.

It was Acxa’s turn to blush. “I don’t know about that,” she said, clearly trying to remain professional despite her embarrassment. “It’s something that he… ahm, partook of, I suppose.” Allura blinked at her quickly, coughing.

“Know this from personal experience?” Lance drawled, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’ve… overheard some things,” she admitted. “I probably shouldn’t be telling this to all of you,” she amended hastily. 

“It is not our prerogative, nor our intention, to place judgment on Emperor Lotor’s extracurricular activities,” Kolivan reassured her in his grave tone. “But it  _ is _ right that we should know any information that would help us in helping him recover, which would strengthen his rule, bringing stability to the universe.”

“I was never… involved with such things,” Acxa replied, biting her lip. “But Pr—Emperor Lotor… seemed to value it. I don’t know the exact reasoning.”

“Have you tried it? It’s  _ great _ ,” Lance said. 

“As though you’re not a virgin,” Pidge retorted.

“Hey, hey, I’ll have you know that I ate out  _ many _ lovely young ladies in the Garrison showers.”

Pidge wrinkled her nose. “Gross.”

“Paladins, please,” scolded Allura. “It really isn’t… our business whether Lotor… hmm.”

“Whether Lotor enjoys a good fucking?” Lance suggested, raising an eyebrow lewdly. 

“Lance!” exclaimed Allura, blushing. “The point is, why would that have been the cause for his… whatever those were?”

“Because he likes you,” responded Acxa immediately. 

Allura turned as red as the rains of hell, but did not respond. She wasn’t entirely sure that a coherent sentence would come out even if she did open her mouth. 

Kolivan sighed. “Princess Allura, if I may be so bold, try not to encourage him, if you can help it. I understand that there are natural bodily responses that happen when one is attracted to another, but we need Lotor functional—or at least as functional as is possible for him.”

Allura hadn’t truly understood the expression ‘dying of embarrassment’ until that moment. She could swear that her face would burst into flames if a single more comment were made. 

“If you cannot control yourself around his masculine wiles,” continued Kolivan, not seeming to notice her mortification, “then it may be best if you weren’t around him while he is working.”

The paladins were giggling a bit, and Allura just nodded and excused herself.  _ Stars, I am acting like a cat in heat _ . If they were right, it was really no wonder that Lotor was acting up. She was probably sending him all kinds of semi-conscious signals, none of which agreed with her brain, which told her that he was a genocidal maniac. 

  
  


_ Lotor could hardly stand it, just watching the beautiful Princess of Arus from Haggar’s stupid crystal ball. He wanted to sweep her off her feet and kiss her until she swooned from lack of breath. He watched her with the Voltron Force and saw how much she liked—oh, what was his name—Keith? Yes, that was it. He really wanted to murder that interfering human. But he also knew that such an action would hurt Allura, and he never wanted to do that. He loved her, after all.  _

_ He wondered vaguely what exactly it was about him that she despised. His heritage? His race? Or maybe the fact that he had tried to take her planet and enslave her people countless times?  _

_ Perhaps ‘tried’ is a little harsh; after all, Lotor was pretty much solely responsible for the Drule failure time after time. He knew if his father found out, he would doubtlessly be killed; but keeping Allura safe was worth it, easily. Even if she never knew.  _

_ If he could perhaps hear her laugh from across the stars, knowing that he had given her that chance of happiness, that would be enough. _

 

Lotor woke up slowly with a bittersweet ache in his heart. He didn’t remember much of his dream, but he knew it was about Allura.  _ Again _ . But how could he win her heart as the Prince of Doom? Wait—the prince of what now? Lotor is the Blood Emperor of the Galra. His thoughts were so muddled. He shook his head, unable to make sense of it. He stood up and exited the room. A bath sounded nice. He made his way to a secluded bath in the castle—unsure how he knew where it was—and undressed, sinking into the steamy water. It was just hot enough to hurt, but it was relaxing as his body accustomed to it. He closed his eyes and couldn’t help but think of Allura. But… his thoughts of her were confusing. He couldn’t quite recall whether her skin was dark or light, whether her hair was the color of molten gold or white as freshly fallen snow. Her eyes were the same. Blue as skies seen through sleeping waves were they, flashing with violet near the pupils. He felt his cock grow hard in the water as he thought of the woman he loved, and stroked it, moaning softly as his mind clouded with pleasure. He thought he caught Allura’s scent, her scent of desire—but it was surely a hallucination, some manifestation of his all-too-conscious desires. It didn’t take long for him to reach his climax—he had been yearning for touch for too long—his hips rocking underneath the water as he ejaculated into the hot, sweet-smelling bath water. He sank further into the water, uninterested in leaving the comfortable place, and it wasn’t clear how much time had passed before he felt a touch on his head. He didn’t hear footsteps, but gentle hands were running through his wet hair, rubbing sweet-smelling shampoo into the white of his hair. He opened an eye, but didn’t bother looking around. He closed his eye again and sank into a reverie, purring softly at the touch—and his afterglow only heightened his relaxation. He was vaguely aware of his hair being washed, conditioned, and washed again. He felt it run through by a brush, and almost fell asleep. A gentle hand caressed him softly under the chin, and his purr deepened as he exposed his throat. He felt lips upon his larynx, gasping as he felt teeth gently nibbling there. He opened his eyes.

No one was there.


	5. Posturing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotor and Kolivan get into an altercation. Allura doesn't want to be in love.

Lotor sighed as he removed himself from the bath and dried himself off. He glanced in the mirror and, having seen something strange, approached it slowly. There was a darker mark on his neck where ‘Allura’ had bitten him. He brushed over the spot with his fingers, feeling the raised skin there and grimacing. That… _vision_ , or whatever it had been, was far too real. Just as real was the image of a nude Allura behind him in the mirror, pale skin glistening from her bath, golden hair wet. She approached him, but when she touched his shoulder, he felt nothing, and when he saw her lips move in the mirror, he heard nothing. He looked to where she should have been, and rolled his eyes upon seeing nothing there. _I am going insane_ , Lotor chided himself. He clothed himself in a loose black shirt and form-fitting trousers, and left the room.

When he entered the lounge, Allura was not present. “ _Hello_ ,” signed Lotor.

“Feeling better?” asked Acxa.

Lotor forced the lie that welled up in his throat back down. “ _I’ve been worse_.”

Acxa sighed as Lotor sat down. “Allura informed us what happened,” she said.

“ _Good—as I do not remember_ ,” he replied, a humorless chuckle vibrating in his throat.

“Kolivan has suggested that it may be your… interactions with the Princess that drives the recent events,” Krolia told him. “Does that seem likely?”  
“ _It could be true,_ ” he admitted. “ _As she was there._ ” He paused for a moment to collect his thoughts. “ _What do you… mean_?” The word he’d chosen didn’t convey his meaning as much as he would have liked… but Lotor was getting used to that feeling. Acxa began translating for him again.

“Are your romantic intentions toward the Princess causing this effect?” asked Kolivan bluntly.

Lotor choked. “ _Pardon_?”

“Aw, come on, Lotor,” whined Lance. “You’re not actually going to try to deny it, are you?”

“ _No intentions,_ ” Lotor protested. “ _She hates me_.”

Pidge shrugged. “Well, that’s fair enough. She sure does have a crush on you though.”

Lotor drew in breath a little too sharply and fell into a coughing fit. He tried to sign while coughing, but it was broken up. “ _What… why… you think… such a thing_?”

“She blushes every time she sees you,” said Hunk. “She runs away every time we tell her she has a crush on you.”

“ _Why would you say that to Allura_?”

“Because she is causing you distraction,” rumbled Kolivan. “And we need you at your best.”

“ _Not being able to talk is more troubling_ ,” Lotor retorted, quickly finding that expressing emotion was much more difficult in sign language. His expressions weren’t that much of a help, or so he’d been told.

“I understand your plight,” Kolivan replied. “But such things cannot be helped. Are you truly unable to form verbal sentences?”

“I—” Lotor broke off. “ _When I speak from feeling, I can talk. But when I speak from brain, it does not work_.”

“Show me,” ordered Kolivan.

Lotor bristled at Kolivan’s tone. “YOU don’t have the right to command me. I am the Crown Prince of the Drule Empire, and I will not tolerate such insolence from my underlings!”

Kolivan looked taken aback, and then bared his fangs. “With all due respect, Emperor Lotor, get over yourself.”

Lotor stood up and strode over to Kolivan, letting out a feral growl. He placed a knee in Kolivan’s stomach and leaned over him, a clawed finger poking him in the chest. “Go fuck yourself,” Lotor spat, enunciating each word clearly. Kolivan’s brow knit together as something grew hard beneath his calf. He burst into arrogant laughter and removed himself from the position of straddling Kolivan. “No, seriously, go fuck yourself,” he continued, his words punctuated by chuckles. “I won’t stop you.”

After standing up, Kolivan loomed over Lotor and with little warning, socked Lotor in the stomach. _Hard_. Lotor was knocked flying over another of the couches, raking his claws across the surface in a panicked attempt to slow his descent. Inertia ripped him free, and he landed in a heap against the far wall, still conscious but the wind completely knocked out of him.

Kolivan stalked out of the room.

 

Allura heard a crash in the lounge and ran in. Lotor was lying on the ground, clutching his stomach. Everyone else had stood up, but weren’t going over to him. Allura took the initiative and crouched next to Lotor. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah,” gasped Lotor. His hand, the one clutching his stomach, was bloody; glancing over, Allura saw that he’d left the larger portion of each of his claws in the couch.

Allura gasped as Lotor’s other hand reached up, claws tearing through the fabric of her shirt’s collar, and pulled her down to him, kissing her. It was not as gentle as their kiss in the hangar had been, but it didn’t last long; Lotor had apparently had the breath knocked out of him, and still couldn’t really breathe. “Lotor!” she chided, pulling away from him. She felt the tiny stings that accompanied his claws on her collarbone, but he sheathed his claws, and the hand that had been holding her joined the other in clasping his diaphragm.

He blinked, and she saw his chest rise and fall. His breath was coming in short gasps, but it slowly evened out as he released his hold on his abdomen and squeezed his eyes closed. He opened them again. “ _Help?_ ” he signed weakly.

Allura reached out her hand and lifted Lotor to his feet. She felt a little dazed by the kiss, but ignored the happy buzzing in her stupid hormonal head as she looked him over. “What happened?”

Hunk and Pidge came over. “Kolivan and Lotor got into a fight. He punched Lotor in the gut.”

“Why,” griped Allura. “Why would he do such a thing?”

Pidge shrugged. “Some Galra testosterone thing. Ask Krolia.”

Krolia sighed. “I think I may have missed something,” she admitted, “but Lotor took something Kolivan said as an order and replied by demanding Kolivan pay him respect. Kolivan growled at him and told him to get over himself, then Lotor planted a knee in Kolivan’s stomach and told him to, and I quote, ‘Go fuck yourself’, and then Lotor started laughing at Kolivan, which was when Kolivan punched him.”

“He should have known better,” grumbled Allura. “I’d expect this from Lotor, but Kolivan?”

“Two alpha males in one room never ends well,” commented Krolia. “Kolivan’s ego is just as fragile as any other male I’ve met, species irrelevant, though he’d tell you otherwise.”

“ _He got…_ ” Lotor paused. “ _Hard_.”

“Hard as in difficult or hard as in a boner?” Lance called over his shoulder, not having bothered to get up.

“ _The latter_ ,” Lotor confirmed, smirking.

Krolia blinked. And blinked again. “I don’t believe you,” she stated flatly.

“I can’t help it,” drawled Lotor, ignoring her. “I’m just too handsome.” He cackled at her expression of dismay.

Allura looked at Lotor, cocking her head. “You’re talking,” she said.

“How insightful, my dear,” Lotor replied, grinning. He signed at the same time, “ _I cannot control my mouth, apparently_.”

“Oh. That explains… things,” she replied, thinking of certain things his mouth had done that she hoped _were_ conscious.

“ _Yes, it does_ ,” he agreed. “ _I’m sorry. Allura_.” He touched his mouth to let her know what he was apologizing for.

“ _It’s OK_ ,” she signed back. “ _I forgive you_.” The tenderness in Lotor’s eyes turned her to gelatin, and Allura realized that Lotor was going to utterly ruin her.


	6. Agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura has a surprise for Lotor.

Lotor sat on the couch in the lounge. He was rather exhausted from the earlier events, and the gentle treatment Allura was giving to his hand made him want to fall asleep. He closed his eyes but didn’t fall into unconsciousness. She had finished washing and bandaging his fingertips and was massaging his palm with soft, warm fingers. A rough purr vibrated in Lotor’s throat, barely audible. Allura reached up and placed a finger on his throat, feeling the soft quiver of his vocal cords, and smiled at him, her eyes brighter than the light of a billion suns. He felt like if he stared too deeply, he might go blind from her radiance, but found himself spellbound, unable to look away. “Allura,” he breathed.

She looked at him curiously. He didn’t know what he’d intended, so he looked at her in a way that could scorch entire planets and make mountains fall away, a look of such passion that she had to avert her eyes, blushing, else she might have gotten burned. Lotor closed his eyes again, letting his purr grow stronger.

“Like a contented cat,” she whispered. Her hands stilled, and Lotor let out a disgruntled whimper. He opened his eyes.

Kolivan stood in the doorway. Lotor hadn’t heard him approaching. “Emperor Lotor,” he said, nodding at him. He walked over and sat across from Lotor.

Allura gave Kolivan an icy glare. “You should know better,” she hissed. Lotor felt proud that he’d gained the protectiveness of this fierce, beautiful lioness.

Kolivan closed his eyes, his jaw twitching. “I should not have done that.”

“Apologize,” ordered Allura, her eyes burning, and Lotor would swear by the gods that he’d never loved her more.

Kolivan furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry, Princess.”

“Not to me,” she growled. “You did not punch ME.”

“ _It is lucky he did not_ ,” signed Lotor clumsily, his injured hand complaining from the movement. “ _I would end him if he laid a single finger upon you_.”

Lotor could see Kolivan fighting his pride. “My apologies, Emperor Lotor. I should not have punched you.”

“ _The great Kolivan was wrong,_ ” signed Lotor. “ _Call the press. We need this story now. Kolivan, is it true that you were wrong?_ ”

“Yes.”

“ _Say it_ .” Lotor knew he was deriving far too much pleasure from this… then again, the larger Galra had punched him _quite_ hard.

“I was wrong,” he growled.

“ _Good boy_ ,” praised Lotor, his face twisted into a smirk.

Kolivan stood up. “You have overstepped your station! Do not push me!”

“ _Do not yell at your king,_ ” signed Lotor. “ _Or I may have to punish you_.”

“Lotor,” murmured Allura, squeezing his hand. “Please.”

“ _For you_ ,” he replied with one hand, “ _I will forgive._ ”

“Thank you,” she whispered. She pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

“ _You make me soft_ ,” Lotor signed.

“I know.”

Lotor let out a soft purring chuckle and threaded her fingers through his own. Allura stood up suddenly, causing Lotor to let out a squeak of surprise. She laughed, light as fairies dancing in an afternoon sunbeam.

“Come on,” she said. “I have something to show you.”

Lotor followed her out of the room. She brought him into a data room. “ _What is this_?” asked Lotor.

“Go on,” Allura said, her eyes twinkling.

Lotor walked over to the console. He placed his hand over it and it lit up. “ _What does it do_?”

The console repeated his words aloud.

“ _So I can talk with others_ ,” Lotor realized. “ _Is it possible for it to give hint to my words_?”

“Is it possible for it to impart nuance into my words?” said the console in its robotic voice.

“ _That answers my question_ ,” Lotor signed, smirking. “ _How does it work_?”

“It uses a non-verbal form of telepathy, which enables it to know what you mean rather than translate literally what you say.”

“ _Must I use hand speech_?”

“It can learn from you,” Allura said.  “If you stop using a physical focus for your words, it may be difficult for the machine to differentiate between thoughts and speech.”

“ _Well, that would be simply awful_ ,” Lotor teased. “ _You don’t want to know what I’m thinking about you right now_.”

Allura frowned. Lotor leapt across the space between them and captured her lips with a kiss, feeling her fingers in his scalp as she reciprocated the kiss. Searing heat grew between them as Lotor pressed her up against a wall, his hands on her shoulder and waist. She pulled away all too soon. “Lotor, no,” she murmured.

“ _Why not?_ ”

“Because you farmed my people,” she accused stiffly. “However kindly I am acting toward you, it is only because I pity your situation, and because I recognize you to be important to the state of the universe. I do not feel that way about you.” She finished the statement with a sharp push against his chest, and she left the room hastily.

Lotor felt his heart break, and he tried to ignore the painful lump in his throat as he hurried to the training deck and turned on three of the gladiators at the highest level. Tears were pouring down his cheeks as he dispatched the final one with ease. “I love her,” he told the battered, smoking robot, his voice a broken rasp in his anguish. “Stars, I love her.” Lotor broke down into sobs on the floor, his breath coming in brokenhearted gasps.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope to update regularly, and your comments give me the motivation to do so. Tell me what you think, and tell me where you're hoping this will go! How much should I drag out the suffering of Allura and Lotor? Forever?


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